Okay, so if you put my top ten favorite movies of all time, just to watch, in a list, it would look like this:

-Pirates of the Caribbean
-Legends of the Fall
-Boondock Saints
-Constantine
-Pitch Black
-Hero or Crouching Tiger, whichever's closest
-Jesus Christ Superstar (the new, very homoerotic version)
-Gone In 60 Seconds
-Gattaca
-The Blade movies, oh Wesley Snipes.

Now there are some trash movies on there, but I just like watching them. Without really dissecting them for much value.

So if you put my top five favorite movies to watch recently, it looks like this:

-Stigmata
-Constantine
-The Ninth Gate
-Passion of the Christ (picking up Aramaic...shut up, language geek)
-The Da Vinci Code

Um...
I am on a Catholic kick. I don't know why.
Maybe it will all come into play sometime soon. Maybe I'll, I don't know, have to perform some exorcisms or something. Whatev. I dig it.

Dear Shannon Leigh,
You are not a very good writer.
Just because your mother likes it doesn't mean anyone else does.
49,000 words is not a novel, but really half a novel; if you can't write a novel that's at least 60,000 words, you have no right to say you are working on a novel.

Also, you fail.

Also, purple prose is messy and disgusting. Your writer's license has been revoked for that alone. Nevermind this 86-page novel crap.

Love,
The Department of Readers' Safety

So you all get to hear more about moi, hoorah. (Although if you're reading this we're probably fairly well acquainted.)

1. What kind of first impression do you think people say when they first see you?
I'm not sure. I've gotten tough, cute (a word I HATE) and I'd like to think a little eccentric, since I wear evening gowns with my tattoos showing and such. I've been told I'm intimidating but I'm not sure in what way.

2. What's one thing you like to do alone?
Masturbate.
Um, I mean, I like to read alone, and write alone. And run into the ocean alone. At night. With a full moon. It's the best thing in the world.

3. What is your favorite line to say when you're drunk?
If I had a line, it wouldn't be funny anymore. Would it.

4. How many drinks do you need before you get tipsy?
At least five or six shots, which is precisely why I don't drink. Too much work.

6. What kind of books do you like to read?
Good ones. Anything but mystery novels and courtroom books, pretty much. I like my books a lot. Figures.

7. Do you think you're cute?
God I hate that word. Cute is what people say when you're not really beautiful, and slightly short of pretty, but you have some weird "quirky" thing that makes you stand out. In other words, I really hope I'm not.

8. Do you have a problem changing clothes in front of your friends?
Absolutely not. Just the other day I was sitting around with three of my girlfriends while we were all without shirts.

9. What do you eat/drink when you raid the fridge at night?
Graham crackers. Or chocolate milk. Or, um, waffles. Or nothing, because I don't.

10. Describe your bed?
A full-size mattress on two twin box springs, on the floor, surrounded by a couple of sheets walling it into a little cocoon space, butting up against a wall and a window, covered in the softest comforter ever, made of red Thai silk.

11. Spontaneous or planned?
Planned spontaneously.

12. Do you know how to play poker?
Yep.

13. What do you carry with you at all times?
Knife, cell phone, credit card, driver's license, some form of tiny perfume usually stuck with my cigarettes in the case.

14. What do you miss most about being a kid?
Not having been one. I really didn't have much of a childhood. I don't feel bad about that, though, it worked out.

15. Are you happy with your given name?
I go by a lot of last names, so I guess I've come to peace with my given name, although I've been known to use aliases and nicknames WAY too much really.

16. What color is your bedroom?
White. I'd paint it blue, but I'm moving soon.

17. Have you ever been in a play?
Hahahaha, oh god, yes. Um, about seven or eight plays I'd say, including directing, plus three operettas and I believe about five operas.

18. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
I like myself but often doubt whether I should believe in myself. I'm working on that.

19. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Depends who with, and what you've done to me.

20. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
Friends.

21. What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
Surf (well).

22. What is your ideal wedding location?
Oh, Jesus, I won't be discussing/thinking about that for a very long time. I was never the girl who dreamed about getting married. And the few times I have, I've never settled on a location. Marriage has this funny side effect of total personality transplant that I'm not crazy about.

23. Whats one instrument you wish you could play?
I can play pretty much anything, except perhaps the tuba, and I've never tried. Not bragging. Just a fact. I mean, I'd wish I were better on the violin, but I'm working on it.

24. Whats one language you want to learn?
Chinese, Mongolian, Xhosa (more anyways), Aramaic, better Italian.

25. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
Ears (5), belly button (gone now), nipples.

26. Do you have any tattoos?
Roughly seven.

27. What's one trait you hate in a person?
Undeserved arrogance, tied with unambitiousness.

28. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Only about things that have a lot of meaning. I mean, I make about $14,000 a year, I can't afford to be. Literally.

29. What do you cook best?
Pasta. Oh god my pasta is the greatest.

30. Favorite person/s to talk with on the phone?
Mm, depends. I'm not much of a phone person. It goes in cycles.

...oh god what the fuck am i doing.

that is all.

Stolen blatantly from =ladyr. But I was bored and I haven't done a meme in forever.

Tag
A - Available? Not really. At least not emotionally.
A - Age: 18
A - Annoyance: undeserved arrogance, lies, guilt trips

B - Best Friends? If you are then you know you are.
B - Band: Um, don't have a real favorite. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and The Arcade Fire.
B - Birthday?: September 15

C - Crush: Oh dear. I enjoy a lot of my poet crushes.
C - Car: 1967 Dodge Charger, 1999 Toyota 4Runner soon to be sold to a tattooed Quaker for a 2000 Toyota Mr2 Spyder.
C - Cat: I like cats. My dog likes them for breakfast.

D - Dead Pet's Name: Shahra.
D - Dad's Name: William.
D - Dog: Lanie. Also known as lanie-baby, laniebug and puppyface.

E - Easiest person to talk to: Different people for different things.
E - Eggs: scrambled and only one yolk, plz
E - Email: why? are you an INTERNET STALKER?

F - Favorite color?: red and silver
F - Food: chocolate, chai, grilled tofu, graham crackers, chocolate towers, and of course waffle tacos
F - Foreign Language: Chinese is pretty. I'm good with German, Latin, Spanish, some French, some Xhosa and some Chinese. (Also Norwegian, Dutch, Afrikaans and Italian but only reading, not writing/speaking)

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Neither, I hate that shit.
G - God: OMG MY FAVORITE GOD IS KALI WTFBBQ!1!!
G - Good Times: hangin in a chow line, good times

H - Hair Color: naturally blondish, at the moment chocolate brown
H - Height: 5'4 barely
H - Happy: for the most part

I - Ice Cream: cookie dough! or Kinky, which is Amy's for Rocky Road
I - Instrument: guitar, cello, bass (electric), violin, anything with strings
I - Idol: Not American I hope. Hunter Thompson. Angelina Jolie. Um, Jack Sparrow omg.

J - Jewelry: 6 gauges, necklace with two very important things on it, nipple rings
J - Job: currently an elementary school teacher and occasional model. Soon to be a student/writer/movie producer.
J - Jokes: Oh my god, a frayed knot. I GET IT!

K - Kids: No, thank you, not for a long long time. Even then, I feel like I'd much rather have children without a father. Nuclear families are alien to me.
K - Karate: For pussies.
K - Kung Fu: Love to learn it, can't stand the uniform. Krav Maga!

L - Love or lust: Both.
L - Longest Car ride: I lived in a car and various motels/hotels until I was 7.
L - Lipstick or Chapstick: Lipstick. Nude. Made from snake venom.

M - Milk Flavor: Silk.
M - Mother's Name: Sheila.
M - Movie Last Watched: Silent Hill. And I'm conflicted.

N - Number of Siblings: Full: 0. Half: 4. Soontobehalf: 1. Total: 5.
N - Name of Siblings: Jeffrey (not from a marriage, accident baby), Jacqueline, Scott and Nicole (second marriage), and Gabrielle (from the new wife, who is 37 to his 75.) I withhold NOTHING!
N - Name: Gabriel. Isaac. Ulysses. Shane. River. Voltaire. I can keep coming up with these until you say stop.

O - One Wish: Immortality.
O - One Phobia: death, and failure.
O - Otter Pop: What now?

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: divorced, mom's shacked up with a big black dude and dad's with someone exactly half his age
P - Part of your appearance you like best: I wish people would notice the exact color or my eyes more. Also, lips, and lower legs. I hate my stomach. I AM NOT CHUBBY, GODDAMMIT. ANYONE WHO CALLS ME CHUBBY GETS A CHUBBY FOOT IN THEIR GENITALIA.
P - Part of your Personality you like best: I'm a chameleon. Um...the part that makes Snowflake say I'm a foreign secret agent.

Q - Quick or Slow?: Quick.
Q - Queen or King?: King.

R - Reason to smile: Endorphins.
R - Reality TV Show: The old MTV Fear.
R - Right or Left: Right.


S - Song Last Heard: Sanctuary. Off my new CD. I'm checking it for skips.
S - Series: Six Feet Under.

T - Time you woke up: 7:34
T - Time Now: 8:09
T - Time for bed: hopefully 11ish, I have to be up at 4:15

U - Unknown: is the only thing anybody is really afraid of
U - Unicorns: bad tattoos
U - You are: mindlessly busy

V- Vegetable you love: yellow and orange ones
V - Vegetable you hate: green leafy ones
V - View on Politics: If I were a political movement I'd be V.

W - Worst Habit: Rubbing my lips together. Guilt-tripping myself. Apologizing. You know, when I was little my mom thought I was a sociopath because I never apologized, and now I do for EVERYTHING?
W - What's up?: The temperature.
W - Wijadija: Yay phonetic spelling!

X - X-Rays: Had them once, when I had sever pneumonia.

Y - Year you were born: 1987
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow?: the sun is yellow.

Z - Zoo Animal: Tigers.
Z - Zodiac: Virgo. Supposed to be Libra.
Z - Zoolander?: Chuck Norris was originally slated to star in Zoolander, but when he performed the "Magnum" look, everyone on the set instantly imploded. Except Owen Wilson. Which is why his nose looks like that.